Niko came in to have his heart tested today. We've been through this ritual many times. He reminds me of Zorba. His laugh is infectious and his outlook always positive. His family lives here and in Greece. His nephew, Nick, was going to start his own business, a small restaurant in Astoria. Niko gave him start-up money and his blessing. "What do you think this kid did with the money? He decides he needs some time to think so he takes his girlfriend and they go to Spain. Why Spain? Who knows?" Now he's laughing. "Ah, it's okay. Maybe he's right. Sometimes you need to be free for a while." I couldn't help it. I had to ask. "But, Niko. What about the money?" Generosity is not as popular in these financially trying times. "I don't worry 'bout that, Blondie. Not so important. I'll live." He was still laughing. "Life is good. Spain, Greece, Astoria...it is good. Did you wake up today? Yes! So, this is your blessing. Money comes, money goes. Enjoy life. Nick, he's a good boy. He will be okay. I will be okay. Love, we have love. Money does not trump love...not for me, not ever." Now I was smiling. Niko is a gambler. He enjoys Atlantic City and travels to Vegas when the gaming spirit moves him. He took a chance with his nephew. He chose to see it as win-win. "When he comes home, we'll talk. No more money, but sometimes you need more than money. So, it's done."
Many people feel they must hold on to what they have just to survive. If they are not in survival mode, they are worried about tomorrow. Maybe they feel their way of life is on the line. It seems they are trying to hold on to what they have. This may seem like a good idea, but it promotes a mentality of poverty. "I don't have enough...There might not be any left...When will I get more?" This attitude affects your sense of self. If you feel poor, you feel less. Anxiety goes up, optimism goes down. Soon, you're fulfilling your own prophecy. Yep, see, I am suffering. There is a solution. Give someone a gift.
A dear friend of mine has a friend who drives her crazy. Nope, not me this time. He always sees the glass as half empty...Mr. Negative. They have known one another for many years. Although they seem at odds often, they give one another support all the time. For all the bickering and complaining, they remain friends.
The gift of friendship is not to be given lightly. It is a commitment and a bond. The beautiful thing about it is that it is reciprocal. It is in the highest category of gift giving. This is an ongoing gift for both people. It is re-gifting the soul, for true friends get to know each other's deepest feelings and dreams. That's a big responsibility. Some hide from it. Some fear it. Others deny themselves this gift thinking the price is too high. On reflection, I think not giving and receiving this gift is the saddest choice you will make. Life is a bumpy ride. Having friends, true friends, along the way to share the highs and lows, gives you wealth beyond any treasure you possess.
The gift of love is simple. Ask Niko as he dances through life. You listen to your heart. Now, filter out the pro and con voices of the brain for a while. There's time for that, but not now. What does your heart feel when you want to give the gift of love? What does it feel when the gift is offered to you? The brain may get all panicky and crazy. This didn't work before. I'm not ready. This is not the right time. I've had enough changes...I need time for myself...okay, did you get that out of your system? Now, take a deep breath and just feel your heart beat. It tells you the truth. It will protect you, though you feel so vulnerable, so transparent. You are not alone...is that scary, too? It's all right. Your heart never rests. It feels everything. It will take you where you need to go, follow it. That doesn't mean you're skipping down the primrose path. We are back on that Rocky Road to Dublin, but, remember your friend? You know your heart wouldn't steer you to just anybody. You'll be traveling that road with your best friend. That's how real love starts and finishes. The heart knows. Once you open your heart to the gift of love, your heart returns the favor. It's a freakin' love fest. Dance with Niko and Zorba. Throw the plates. Lift your hands in the air. Listen to your heart.
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