Addicted to Looking for Love

As the entire planet is aware, Michael Jackson died suddenly this week. People in almost every country reacted emotionally with tears or by celebrating his life with song and dance. It seems his family and closest friends and confidants were saddened but not shocked by his passing. Tragically, it seems that Michael continued to search for love that eluded him despite the adulation bestowed upon him by millions of fans. He surrounded himself with people who told him what he wanted to hear. His dearest friends, who would tell him the truth, were shut out for the most part.

Most of us only hear what we choose to and believe what we want to believe. We all create our own reality. When that reality becomes toxic or pathological there may be a little voice inside us that whispers, then screams "Enough!!" The choice to heed or ignore that voice belongs to the individual.

Maybe you have been in a situation where it benefits others to keep you in a precarious state. Perhaps you have been the one who keeps another in an emotionally debilitated state to fill your own need. This is the world of the enabler. It is a shameful despicable place to reside.

I do not know the cause of Michael Jackson's death at this point in time. Sources say he had been receiving Demerol injections for pain on a daily basis. If that is true, it is probably criminal. It is a moot point, though. I'm sure that is the least of it. The sycophants and enablers that surrounded Michael reinforced his insistence on medicating himself. It gave them access to him, while his genuine friends could only hope and pray from a distance. This is an all too familiar celebrity scenario. Perhaps prosecuting those individuals to the full extent of the law will send a message to others doing the same. Sadly, I doubt it. Fame and fortune attract the jackals.

We all channel divinity. We are from the same universal energy. Some have an incredible link to that energy, that divinity. We call them geniuses. Whether exploring the stars or becoming a rock star they take us beyond the mundane limits. We are transported to another dimension by sharing the magical energy. Michael Jackson was a genius, no doubt, and will continue to take us higher with his music and incredible videos.

I listened to interviews with Quincy Jones, Berry Gordy and Deepak Chopra, all of whom knew Michael Jackson for many years. They were devastated by his death. Even his family lawyer was so furious he vowed to expose 'the truth'. I wonder what good this will do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roRcIoO1iQY

Last year I had a discussion with a dear man who lost a loved one to suicide as have I. I said how sad it was. He agreed and then he said "You do know some people don't want to be saved. He was determined to end his life on this earth and he finally did. I hope he has the peace he never had here. I don't feel guilt or sadness or even anger at him. He did what he had to do."

You may argue that Michael Jackson did not commit suicide. True, he did not take his own life, but each day he played Russian Roulette with it. I don't know, it is tragic.

I do agree with those who say he will live in his music. That is an amazing inheritance he left the world and we are in a much better place for it. He was a boy-man as Paul McCartney said. We could never love him enough. He never could love himself. I hope he watches from out there and sees and feels the love the world has for him. Prayers for his family and friends who loved him beyond words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrXi70KmXgQ

Deepak Chopra on Michael Jackson

The Love You Save~haunting lyrics today

Dia de los Muertos, Oaxaca, Mexico 2008

Restraint Is A Good Thing?

Sagittarius Horoscopes
(Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Next Week
For the Week of Jun 22nd, 2009 -- Your easygoing attitude might not go over so well on Friday night. There's some picky people around you who may not appreciate your outrageous sense of humor. Have fun, of course, but a little self-restraint will probably cast you in a better light. Look for a friend to help you make a new connection or provide a dose of common sense to cool you off.*



Yes, those picky people do have attitude. Well, that's all right. After all, I do find many things amusing, even picky people. Perhaps I should hang with the Capricorns I know. They usually display a good deal of common sense. The trouble is I'm not feeling very restrained. In fact I could say I'm downright rambunctious at the moment.



I have a lot on my plate right now. It's mostly good stuff so I'm very psyched and feeling good. As per usual my problem is focus, but I'm getting better at setting priorities. My book is almost complete. I do love my vampires so it's difficult to end their story. The solution is a second and third book. Yay! There are other things I'd like to write about like Ice Maidens and androids (not the same story :) but for now I'll stay with the undead.



Dia de los Muertos in Oaxaca should be wonderful. Mr. deMeng is teaching some doll making in the deMengian tradition. I'm thinking creepy funky and very cool. Bee Woman makes jewelry and I do multi-media stuff so doll making is a new venue. It's great to work out of your comfort zone, though I must say things are very comfortable in Oaxaca. I dream of having a studio there where I could work outside in a garden setting. You never know...



Right now I'm working on some paper dolls for an AlphaStamps exchange. Next, some Ancestor ATCs for a Red Lead exchange. Then, oh happy day, charms for a Floral/Leaf exchange at AlphaStamps. I love making charms and Leslie over at http://www.alphastamps.com/ has amazing metal, shell and sparkly things for them as well as a treasure chest of other goodies.

I've made a few sketches for a Tarot deck, but that's on the back burner until the book is published and I'm holding a copy in my hand. It will be my reward for turning the vampires loose on society. Please, not all of them are pure evil...just a few. Maybe a whole bunch, but is that so different from our 'real' world? Not so much.



Yes, I do write too. It's good to keep those creative juices flowing. Just to keep myself in check and maintain an easy going but inoffensive attitude I resorted to shoe therapy today. Found a very shiny red slingback and a bronze metallic closed toe sandal. This may mean nothing to you, but to a Sister of Imelda it is a very good thing. Now I will give away two pair to charity. Otherwise I would probably need a shoe room which would be deliciously decadent, but not in keeping with my new 'keep it simple' lifestyle. At the moment it is still a work in progress. I'll let you know how that goes.

Hope you all are enjoying the Summer Solstice. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!


*Thanks http://www.tarot.com/
Chipboard doll of Leslie from AlphaStamps

In The Moment

Sagittarius Horoscopes
(Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Next Week
For the Week of Jun 15th, 2009 -- Being of service to others might not sound like your idea of having a good time this weekend but it still can work to your advantage. If you have a job to do, it might be more fun than you might expect. And, if you're just helping out someone, there's a chance that what starts out as a chore could turn into your kind of party.

Just finished reading Excuses Begone! by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I love reading, listening to and/or watching Dr. Dyer because he's always delivers such a positive message. No coincidence he suggests being of service to others is the key to happiness and wholeness. Obviously, it's in the stars for me. It's no secret though. All the things people do for me, whether large or small acts, make me feel better in some way. The reverse is true. Something as simple as a smile can change a moment from tense to calm and cool.

Just the same, I am feeling a bit tense today. Maybe I need a smile...maybe a scotch. Though I get the concept of living in the now my old worry habit is hard to break. When it comes to family and friends it's difficult to accept the now thing. I am working on this.

I finished these mini assemblage refrigerator magnets for a swap over at AlphaStamps. For some reason I chose black and white birds as a theme. I like the way they turned out. Yes, I'm addicted to glitter of all textures and colors. German scrap too...metallic, rainbow colors and all those cute birds and flowers...oops! I digress. Problem is the magnets are hard to photograph so I used another bird photo for this post. It kind of sums up how I'm feeling at the moment. Not to worry though. According to Dr. Wayne I'll be my carefree jovial self any minute.

Pic~thanks Patti at tuscanrose.com

Some People

Some People


some people never go crazy.

me, sometimes I'll lie down behind the couch

for 3 or 4 days.

they'll find me there.

it's Cherub, they'll say, and

they pour wine down my throat

rub my chest

sprinkle me with oils.



~Charles Bukowski



Thanks Perceval Press, yeah...

Full Moon & Roses

Spent time collecting rose petals in the garden today. I'll be trying my hand at making beads from the petals. Seems pretty straightforward...pick petals, dice 'em up, heat with some water, heat again next day, heat again next day and voila! Rose paste for forming beads. Let you know how that works :) It was a lovely day to be outdoors. Sunny, warm and breezy...about 80' It's supposed to rain again for the rest of the week, but the weekends have been beautiful.

I remember a vampire flick titled Blood and Roses. It was a contemporary tale about vampires returning after the war with the usual blood sucking, but there was a scene in a greenhouse with roses and thorns and finger pricks and fangs, anyway, it was very creepy to the teenage me. Despite that emotional trauma I still love roses and vampires.

I'm joining Horror Writer's of America, an organization that speaks for itself. They are a most supportive group and are very generous and encouraging to newbie me. My vampires are feeling most welcome. They may be the lightweights in this group of characters. Hoping they'll be seeing the light of day, so to speak, soon.

There's a Ken doll that's just aching to transform into a vampire, one of the scary flying ones from my book. I have a few ideas involving bats, wings and watch parts. Of course, I do have a Barbie that giggles and I'd love to turn her into a vampire just for spite but I'm not sure how that will work.

The full moon usually has it's way with me. I do get a little loony sometimes. That can work in my favor creatively. It is really ok to be a tad crazy once in a blue moon. Everyone is.

Sagittarius Horoscopes
(Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Next Week
For the Week of Jun 8th, 2009 -- Sticking to a schedule might not be your strong point and could be especially difficult this weekend. Plans shift unexpectedly, promises are forgotten and facts are fuzzy. Pleasure arrives when you're spontaneous, so give yourself permission now to change your mind and adjust your course of action whenever you feel like it.

Yes, like I don't anyway. Well, the planets seem to be aligned for fuzziness so I may as well go with it.

Vampires aren't the only beings with sharp teeth. Ouch!

Heavy Metal

Sagittarius Horoscopes
(Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Next Week
For the Week of Jun 1st, 2009 -- You may have to wait on the sidelines on Friday but the rest of the weekend should be excellent for getting lots of attention. The Moon entering your sign on Saturday puts you in the spotlight where you can let your enthusiastic personality shine. Playing hard, not hard to get, is a game that you are almost certain to enjoy now.

General Weekly Love Horoscope Influences
Slow down and enjoy the pleasures of the senses this weekend when alluring Venus enters earthy Taurus. The power of a good meal, sweet music or a tender touch can lift any one's spirits. There is so much of life to love and when you connect with that feeling it makes others want to connect with you.

Good news! Been invited to a Louisiana Craw Fish Boil, Long Island style, on Saturday. That's sure to be a good meal. So comforting to know the stars are smiling on the festivities. There's sure to be plenty of friendly people in fine spirits.

Things have been a bit topsy turvy here. It seems to have become the norm over the past year or so. Can't say that I'm getting used to it, but I certainly have become much more philosophical than pragmatic. I've decided to distract myself by trying something new. I signed up for an online doll making course given by Nancye Williams. The dolls are primitive and pretty. I'm thinking primitive and edgy once I get the hang of it. The basic doll making uses poly clay and wire. Think of the possibilities :)

I may take a metal embossing class too. I've done some embossing and really enjoy it. Learning a few new techniques will be fun. Mmmm, metal good.

Now, if there was just a class for turning your brain off for a little while...been dreaming about wisteria.

Metal~Oaxaca 2008

Walala Wa Sala

That roughly translates to 'you snooze, you lose'.

There is a raging thunderstorm rumbling by right now. Half an hour ago the sun was shining down on my little garden. Pam, a Jehovah's Witness stopped to ask for my daughter as I was planting marigolds along the edge of my tiny parcel of earth. They had many conversations before she moved to her own place. The lilies are up and growing. My bargain rosebush, with blooms the color of the best sunset you ever saw, is full of buds again for the fifth year. A couple of sparrows were so engaged in courtship they flew right into Pam. I'm not sure who was more surprised. We spoke of the joy of a garden. How people just stop to chat as you're poking the earth or pulling some weeds. A beautiful neighbor once came running across the street with two ice cream cones for me and Christine as we tended the flowers. Another neighbor asked permission to pick a bachelor's button for his lapel each morning. That was from the first garden I planted here. Just some wildflower seeds, but what a show! Crimson poppies, bright yellow sunflowers, lemon colored evening primroses and daisies in starched white bloomed all summer. Oh yes, and those sky blue bachelor buttons.

Although retired, he rose the same time each morning. Walking to the corner deli for his morning paper in sartorial splendor, he said he felt the boutonniere was the finishing touch. I'll say. He was the eyes of the neighborhood. I'm not sure when he slept. If there was someone suspicious near any one's car in the wee hours he would be on the phone with security. He was a delight to talk to whether working in the garden or shoveling snow. He and his wife were devoted to one another. She died about six months after he did. She told me her heart was broken and she would see him soon.

The point I mean to make is to appreciate each minute. A garden is a microcosm of life. When it's dormant in the winter we plan for the spring. Springtime brings green shoots from bulbs that overwintered. In fact, they need that chill, that dormancy to regenerate and bloom anew. Summer brings the lush life. Flowers, herbs, fruits and vegetables at their peak of fragrance and flavor, just ripe for the picking. Autumn, my favorite season, makes preparation for the sleep of winter. The transition from growth to rest is celebrated 'round the world. On Halloween or Dia de los Muertos, the thin veil that separates the living and dead lifts for a day or two. We celebrate the memory of those we loved and feel them ever closer to us for a brief time. It reminds us to show love and appreciation for those we care for while we can.

The storm is over. The sun is shining through the clouds. Ozone makes the air smell clean and fresh. People are back out trying to salvage their barbecues. Thunder rolls in the distance, but it might just roll the other way. Thinking I need a new skull fence for the Goth garden. It will have to wait for the Halloween sales in the Fall. I think it has an old fashioned look about it.