Fear Factor

Sagittarius Horoscopes

(Nov 22 - Dec 21)Next Week

For the Week of Jan 18th, 2010 -- The slow pace you encounter in others might be a little frustrating this weekend. When you're ready to play or connect with someone you don't like to waste your time. Yet being patient is key to earning the trust required to get closer to an attractive individual. Playing it cool at first is your best chance to finally generating the heat that your heart desires.

Gawd!! I know patience is a virtue I need to cultivate. I am trying. Last night I saw The Lovely Bones with Helen. It is the kind of movie that might get you thinking about relationships in your life. We stopped at the Skyline Diner on the way home for coffee and conversation. Naturally, the conversation gravitated to relationships. The usual head scratching about the Mars/Venus thing led to more questions. At this stage of my life I thought I would have a better handle on this, but evidently, it's one of life's mysteries...at least for me. Helen smiled when I said I thought that some men were afraid of me.

"Yeah, they're afraid, very afraid. You are about as subtle as a bulldozer."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2cLmbCyzhE

This is true. It's that no patience thing. Most of the time, when someone is giving me information or telling me something on the job I'll ask them to cut to the chase. If I need any explanation or elaboration I'll ask. Just the facts, ma'am...or sir. It carries over to the home front and is the source of much anxiety, it seems.

You'd think I would learn from past experience. Old habits die hard. Yes, I do know a sign of insanity is expecting a different result from the same behavior...I'm working on the sanity. It puzzled me...why the fear factor?

"Most people do not jump into situations head first. You can really hurt yourself if you do. Think about it. Has this worked for you in the past?"

Helen's eyes grew wide as she stared into mine. We simultaneously burst into hysterical laughter. The obvious answer...not really.

I will never be the laid back, level headed woman who just goes about her business, waiting patiently for the universe to reveal it's answer. I will take two giant steps back, try to keep out of trouble and have more faith in the natural order of things. Well, that's what I want to do. I'm still a work in progress.

To the men I have frightened or disturbed in any way, I offer a sincere apology and some advice. Be patient with me. Once you get to know me, I'm not as terrifying as I seem to be. Well, ok, maybe I am, but you'll get used to it. Give it time.

horoscope~tarot.com

A Little Piece of My Heart

• The third day of the new year flies in on wintry wind. It sounds like a train whooshing through the streets and tree tops of Glen Oaks at full throttle. It is icy cold, penetrating layers of down and wool, like cold fingers wriggling under warm blankets. I have one outdoor errand to do...a meatball run for ingredients for a game night dish. It feels like snow could be in the very near future so it behooves me to have my supplies on hand before things get messy. I'm getting my little nest warm and cozy for this phase of winter. This is the time for indoor activities.
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• Today I'm doing some heart art. I'm putting my other projects on hold for a short time while attend to my heart. Hearts find their way into much of my art...hearts and eyes. This time I have a heart-shaped book I'll be altering with paint, paper, clay, metal, wire...you get the idea. My dear Christina from www.skybluepink.com sent some gorgeous pink and fuchsia punchinella. I am in seventh heaven...sparkles and hearts and stencils...oh my!

A few years ago I participated in a LMAO (land mail art object) exchange with a group of fellow artists at nervousness, where many of us had quite a bit of fun for a while. The concept of this exchange was simple...create an artistic representation of your heart. Any medium, any form you like, but it had to be small enough to be easily mailed anywhere in the world. I decided to use a jigsaw puzzle for my heart. I labeled each piece for a part of my life I held in my heart...people, pets, places and ideals all separate, but connected. In fact, if one piece was missing, the heart was not complete. I really liked that heart...I use a picture of it as my avatar on nervousness...but off it went to Norway. The heart I received was from the USA. It blew my mind. I opened the envelope to find a tiny matchbox shrine, covered in red paper. On top was a pearl heart. A red ribbon wrapped around the tiny container. When I slid it open I found eight iridescent beads glued to dark background paper. Then I found the note in the envelope. "These beads represent the people in my life who make up my heart. One is for my daughter, two are for my parents. The others represent the people who gave their lives defending me, including my dearest friend, the love of my life. They died in a fight for my life. I hold them in my heart for eternity, although I fear it will remain broken for eternity, too. If you should decide you don't want this heart at any time, please return it to me. Thank you." I still have that heart and keep it safe.

You never know about hearts. Some seem so full of love and joy, almost overflowing. Others seem small and dark like pieces of obsidian, hard and cold. Then there are the broken hearts...some have tiny cracks, some are fractured and pieced together again and some are torn asunder, leaving an abyss impossible to breach. Most hearts are a combination of the full and the broken. In any case, your heart has a voice. We all hear it on occasion. I think we are wise to listen to our hearts...it's that little voice people talk about when they say they should have listened. I don't have any resolutions, they are a waste of time for me. However, I decided to really listen to my heart...to ease up on the thinking for a while. As someone near and dear to me said..."you're losing your focus, lighten up, stop thinking, just go with the flow." That may be my mantra, along with 'follow your heart'.

I'm setting up my heart art...I even wrote a haiku this morning :)

My Heart Has No Name

My heart has no name

each piece holds the key to love.

Timeless roses bloom...

Got my book, got my glue, got my punchinella and I am ready to rock this heart. Crank up the music, mr. dj...maybe some Canaro tangos...I have my wire cutters...I am armed and not so dangerous. It's time for some heart to heart art <3

anonymous shrine~nervousness~2004?