On Memorial Day 2010

Summery sunshine and blue sky brings in this Memorial Day here in Queens. There's a big parade just down Littleneck Parkway on Northern Boulevard. My flag is in the window, red, white and blue behind the lace curtains. It's the unofficial beginning of summer. It's the official day of remembrance for soldiers who died in our Civil War...now for all fallen soldiers in our many wars. Each one of us has our own recollections. I know I don't need a special day for that, yet, I know it is a way to remind people what price freedom has and how horrific war really is.

Summer is a strange season for me. It seems many major changes initiate for me during the summer months. At one time I actually would dread the months of June, July and August. They seemed to incubate disruption during their steamy days. Fortunately, I've come to understand that this disruption of my norm is part of life's heartbeat. Sometimes it skips a beat, other times the rate accelerates and it might even throw in a few extra lub-dubs to keep me on my toes. Now, I don't take all these changes as an exception...more like a random pattern that occurs when necessary. Whenever I think I 'get it', what I get is a little zap. Complacency is stagnation, so the gods of summer throw a monkey wrench into the mix. I like monkeys, but things may get chaotic for a while. When the dust and banana peels settle, I begin to see reason to the rhyme.

So, here I am. Official or not, summer begins. Not wanting to disappoint me, the gods of summer have started the monkeyshines. Some are scary and some are amazingly wonderful. Welcome to my summer revelations. By the time I reach September, I'm sure things will be calmer. Well, I'm not really sure, but I'm okay with whatever evolves.

I've been clearing out many years of stuff. Spring cleaning continues to Summer cleaning...risky business. There are old paintings I've culled, but one that I love is Abuelita. I painted her in my parent's basement one summer's day, while I was trying to keep cool. She has been with me since then.

There are some things to hold and others to set free. Ah, summertime! This year, I do look forward to the shakeup. I moved Abuelita to the Oaxaca wing of my apartment. She seems right at home there. We all know, home is where the heart is.

Abuelita~painted mid-late '60's ;)

Generous Heart

Elliot is sitting on my lap, purring and head-butting the lap top. That is his way of showing affection, although the head-butting does get him in trouble on occasion. He stops, momentarily distracted by a cardinal's call, but resumes his ritual. The cardinal, oblivious to the cat and the human this side of the window, continues his song to his lady. His scarlet feathers puffed out at his throat, black cap shining in the early morning sun, all seems well in his world. It's a heartfelt serenade and soon there is a smaller female cardinal next to him. Her feather colors are more subdued, but she certainly has our boy's attention. When you let the song in your heart fly good things can happen. Then again, there are no guarantees. Sometimes you open your heart and another reaches in and scoops out some love, leaving nothing in exchange. Some people are expert at taking, but haven't quite gotten the knack of giving. This is not necessarily a malicious intent. Maybe it's how their brain is wired. Maybe the connection to the heart short circuited.

If this happens to you, if your heart gets scooped and you find it feels a little empty, don't be too concerned. Hearts have an amazing capacity for regeneration. It may take some time or it may happen overnight. If you are blessed with a generous heart you will find the joy of giving far outweighs the occasional scooping deficit. Live and learn. The generous heart seems to overflow, so sharing and giving of itself is almost a survival instinct...almost like breathing. The generous heart seems fragile to those who don't have one. They caution against giving too much or trusting the wrong people or thinking with your heart, not your head. Well, this is advice to take into consideration, but the generous heart knows these things...and still shares the love.

So, maybe a big box of heart band-aides is in the medicine cabinet. That's okay. If you are really living life you are bound to get a few bumps and bruises along the road. That generous heart may look like its been through a war, but it is the most beautiful heart imaginable. It can see the negative in you, but it focuses on the positive. Others may have given up on you, but this heart knows that you are capable of getting back on track. This generous heart is in your cheering section at all times. This heart will not lie, but will deliver the truth with kindness and compassion. This heart accepts who you are, takes you for you and does not judge.

As you may have guessed, generous hearts are a rare breed. They may even be on the endangered hearts list. If you are fortunate enough to have one touch your heart, sing Hallelujah! Sing it loud and sing it from your soul. They will change your life. Once touched by a generous heart an amazing transformation occurs. Your heart learns what it means to truly give with no heartstrings attached. It is liberating and a blessing beyond words.

heart sketch for shrine based on david olney's beautiful 'if my eyes were blind'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-dBzTNyhG0&feature=related